I have a secret to confess.....I was ADDICTED to reading People Magazine! Ugh, I know. I don't know why. I got sucked into the life of wondering who wore what, who was dating who, who stole something and who was getting divorced next. It was a toxic addiction and I've slowly given it up. It's a waste of time and I believe made me judgmental. Now, this is MY opinion, please don't call me foolish hahaha. There was a growth group that I did with people from my church that actually mentioned People Magazine and how infectious it is! I couldn't believe my ears! I hadn't realized that slowly, I was becoming a critic of others based on what they had, looked like and did. I lost myself, and my identity. That was until I read my identity in Christ.
I believe that a lot of women don't know how beautiful they are. I have to constantly remind myself that God made me beautiful. The life on the web, t.v and any other media, is not mine and my life is one that I need to treasure and value with everything I have. A decision I made once I read who I was, was to let my hair grow naturally. I have Puerto Rican kinky hair that "needed" to be relaxed, flat ironed, and everything else damaging to it. I never knew the actual texture of my hair. Never Ever! Crazyyyyy! Im 28 years old, and have never seen my root grow more than half and inch before I whipped out the relaxer. Until now.
Beauty is a word to battle with. We battle with what the society tells us is beautiful. Get lipo, get implants, get that guy, wear that clothes, wear your hair long and straight, be less or around 100 lbs, the list goes on and on. Why do we battle with this? Why do we have to change to please others or change because they tell us to? This is an honest blog, so why not push it by assuming that unfortunately, those who call us weak or ugly, stupid, fat, loser, etc. have not found their own identity? Do you think that calling someone fat is going to help them get healthy, do you think they feel encouraged? Well, unless they're masochist, then to me, it doesn't help.http://skinnyminnyjourney.tumblr.com/
I struggled so much with my identity, that it is still a work in progress. I heard the typical "You're fat" "Fix your hair, you're lazy, you don't know how to do this or that". It took a toll on how I looked at myself. I didn't believe my husband when he said I was beautiful. Not until I believed in my identity with Christ. My walls came down. I do believe that women need to have a natural balance. Appreciate who you are. Don't let the trials of life beat you down. You want to look good for yourself, and if you want to rock a different style than others, GO FOR IT. We shouldn't judge anyone. Let us help one another. Lift up one another, sharpen one another.
I have to give a shout to the women who have impacted me in every way:
me, my sister, mom and aunt
Maureen, myself and Evelyn
Betsy and I
My girlfriends and I.....There's a lot more but I couldn't find pictures with them.
I am a beautiful, loving woman. My new perspective helped me to appreciate running, appreciate my natural curls, love my Puerto Rican curves, helped me to love others, my husband, and life so much more. The picture below is not me, but I love her hair!
What is one thing you struggle with the most? It can be beauty or anything else besides. I want to hear from you.
God Bless,
Ileana
You know what's ironic? Those women in People Magazine, in fashion magazines, the runway models, are just as insecure as you and me! They starve themselves because they're afraid of gaining weight in the "wrong" places. They have surgery to fix what others think is "wrong" with them. They are far more critical than most people when it comes to their looks.
ReplyDeleteAs I've told my kids, if everyone were the same color, the same shape, the same size, if everyone looked exactly the same, we would complain that the world is boring. God made each of us special, each one different, and we complain because we don't look like the person we think we should look like. Really?! All we do when we complain, is tell God He didn't do a good enough job. That must make Him so sad.
I think a big problem is that we focus so much on the outside and not enough on the inside. The truth is, if a woman is beautiful on the inside and confident in her identity in Christ, that beauty will automatically radiate to the outside. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30). The outer beauty fades in time, but a woman who loves God will still be beautiful no matter how many years pass.
By the way, I think you are one of the most beautiful women I know. You have a kind heart, a lovely disposition, a sweet smile. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) so celebrate that beauty!
Arlene
I could not have said it better Arlene. We are all just struggling. I am really glad you have told your kids to be themselves and they are wonderful kids. I love your daughter and she is definitely special!
ReplyDeleteYour compliment swept me off my feet! I appreciate it so much! You're an amazing person and I am still humbled by the personal favor you did for my husband and I. Truly, not many people would have done that.
<3
Hi Ile! I just read this blog. I have always struggled with my looks. When I was younger, I was always soo soo skinny. Like stick skinny. And all I would see when I looked in the mirror was my boney shoulders, knobby knees, and big nose. I also have VERY curly hair, which my mother always kept short, so you can imagine the afro I would have!!!! All I ever wanted was to have curves, have a nice body, I used to fantasize about getting surgery on my nose.....
ReplyDeleteFast forward to my twenties....I fell in love with my after baby body. I filled out and got the curves I always wanted,perhaps a little more hip than I wanted, but along with that I also got the belly pouch that came as a result of not exercising after pregnancy and eating everything and anything. I fell in love with my body at that point because I associated it with my baby. This is who I became after pregnancy. I became beautiful in my own eyes because through this body I became a mom, and becoming a mom is the most amazing thing.
Fast forward to my thirties...(yes, I'm not so young anymore)...I think I have finally accepted my body for what it is-Exactly what I make it. If I don't eat right and don't exercise (which I don't) I will be on the thick side. I would love to lose some weight, not because I don't like how I look, but because I feel heavy, out of breath, it's hard to bend over, low energy, always tired, etc...I find it so hard to change my eating habits and 5 jumping jacks has me frantically looking for my asthma inhaler. I have to remember that my body is God's temple and I should treat it as such. There's a book I'm interested in reading and doing the study called Made to Crave by Lysa Terkuerst. Have you heard of it?
And as far as my hair goes....I LOVE MY CURLY HAIR!!!!! Too bad I did a treatment to straighten it. Now I have to wait and grow it out.
:-)
Hey Marie :)
DeleteThank you for posting your comment. I truly appreciate it. Well first off, love your curly hair. It's awesome! I'm just learning to embrace mine and decided not to straighten my hair anymore. Love your hair, especially when it starts to grow.
Regarding to your body, I love the fact that you appreciate it because of what it brought to you, your son, and he is an awesome reward. I'm so in awe that you love your body because of that and want the best for it. I can share a few little tips of what has worked for me. I used to weight almost 160 and now I weight 135. These tips have helped me so much but I also took my sweet time ( I even got lazy at one point, but found my way back).
Tip #1 I use Myfitnesspal on the web and on my phone. This is the number one thing that has helped me so much. It calculates how many calories you are supposed to be eating according to your height, male or female, age, type of job (active, sedentary, etc), your active life (how many times a week you work out) and how many pounds you want to lose a week. Along with that, you have to input everything you eat and drink. You start to realize how many calories are in each thing we eat and then you make better choices for yourself. It's great because you can eat whatever you want and still manage to lose. Why? Because you are counting what you eat.
Tip #2 Exercise. So it may sound horrible, the word exercise. Who is in the world likes to exercise? Not me, definitely not. But I staredt slowly. I couldn't do pushups, situps, let alone more than 5 mins of cardio. I started walking a few minutes, then running, then Jillian Michaels, then aerobics, swimming, girl anything active, I would try. Do I like running? Some what. I love its benefits though. Get mobile apps to help you, or find things online. There's so much help out there.
And Tip #3 Believe in yourself. There's nothing like beating yourself up because you believe your not worth it. We are worth it. Believe it. Do it for your baby.
I hope that any of these things help!!
Love,
Ile